Times Infinity
by TwilightSickness
Summary: Friday Night Bites Contest Entry by Hazeleyes71790. Song Title: Sex Therapy


**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight**

"_When the action is over and we look back, we understand both more and less. This much is certain: America soon realized that she would win and surged forward. It was a war that changed America and the world. America suffered, but America grew stronger. The times tried our souls, and through the trial, we overcame." ~ Pearl Harbor_

September 11, 2005

**BPOV**

I won't ever forget that day, and while it shook me to my core, I think it was safe to say that I wasn't the only one. It was the day that turned the words upside down. At least that was what it felt like. It was the day that not only shook the entire state of New York, but the whole nation. Scratch that; it shook the whole world.

I can remember the exact moment, and where I was, when that plane hit the two towers on September 11th…

September 11, 2001

It had been a beautiful, cool end of summer day in New York City and I was at my favorite coffee shop, waiting for the moment I would have to leave for work. Three years ago, I had started my doctor's internship at one of the many hospitals in New York City. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, as I hadn't known anyone in the medical world. My mother was a freelance writer whom I rarely saw, and my dad was chief at the local police station in my hometown. They divorced when I was little. When I graduated from high school, I knew I wanted to do something meaningful with my life. I wanted to help people. So I got into basic medicine and to this day, I am scared shitless.

As I was sipping my coffee, I thought back to the night before. My husband of not even a year, Edward, and I had gotten into one of the worst fights I had ever been a part of in my life. Of course it was over something stupid, and when I woke up this morning, I could only hope and pray that we could work things out before we went into work. But, as I rolled over to his side of the bed, my hand couldn't find him; the bed was empty. I could remember the mornings early on in our relationship when I would wake up and as soon as our eyes met, we would make love, sometimes barely making it out the door to get to work on time. If I was looking at us from afar, as an outsider, I probably would have gagged myself. We were _that_ couple. We even had some stupid saying that we came up with early on in our relationship. He would kiss me and say, "I love you." Then he would look into my eyes say _the words that he whispered for just us to know_, "Times Infinity."

My whispered response was, "Plus two." Was it stupid and corny? Fuck yes, it was, but it was our thing, and we were the only ones who knew about it.

We were perfect, and I remember Edward's best friend Jasper-and also best man at our wedding-… once saying that if we couldn't make it, no one could. Nothing mattered then; we were new and nothing could stop us. But eventually, all good things come to an end, and soon the sex started to dwindle down, the surprise visits at work stopped, and the love notes he would slip into my purse on his way out the door turned into shopping lists. Our perfect relationship seemed to be slipping sooner than I had ever imagined.

Glancing at the clock, I realized Edward had probably already left hours ago for his job at the fire department, and I sighed, knowing I wouldn't see him until his shift ended later that night. I loved him for what he did—risking his life every day—but with both of our jobs having sucky shifts, we rarely saw each other. I got out of bed and made my breakfast in silence, going over our fight from the night before. Edward had once again left all of the lights on in our medium sized condo that was situated against Central Park. I had told him countless times to turn them off, as our electricity bill was through the roof that previous month. But Edward didn't seem to really think twice about things that would cost us money. And he didn't do it in a mean, self-centered, stuck up way. It was just how he had been raised. For our wedding, his parents, both well known doctors and doing very well for themselves, had bought us our condo as a wedding present. For the last two months, as we both got busier and busier, he had gotten used to leaving every light on in the house. The first time I brought it up, everything was fine. He said 'okay,' joked about it, and kissed me, ending the conversation. But then small things like that started happening, and I started getting irritated. Soon, we just didn't even really talk. Last night we had called each other nasty names, and what I hated most was that I actually felt as though I resented him. There he was—someone who, if needed, was set for life. He had his inheritance, and I was most likely going to be left with bills from both of my parents. Even though the condo was paid for, the monthly bills were not.

"Edward, you don't fucking get it! Every time you leave the lights on it hikes up the bills_!" I said firmly, pulling one of his FDNY shirts over my head that I wore for pajamas._

_His hands flew to his hair._ "Ugh, God damnit, Bella! Why the _fuck_ do you keep bringing this up? I swear to God if I have to hear about one more light not being turned off, a piece of clothing not put away, or not putting a dish in the damn dishwasher, I don't know what I am going to do!"

What the hell does that mean?_ I thought to myself. _"You can say that, _Edward_, because _you_ have something to fall back on. _You_ never had to worry about this when you were younger. While you were fucking waiting for your nanny to cook you dinner at the age of ten, I was searching the refrigerator for anything edible. And what the hell do you mean, you don't know what you're going to do?"

_He looked at me with anger and a touch of sadness in his eyes, and I knew I had struck a nerve. He had never acted like the spoiled rich kid and I knew how hard he worked for what we had. What I had just insinuated had been the ultimate insult to him, and I suddenly hated myself. He looked away and pulled over his own shirt and sighed. "_I'm done with this conversation, and I'm going to bed Bella. I have to be at the station early tomorrow morning, and I really have no energy or interest in listening to your bitching any longer."

_He got under the covers and turned off the lamp on his bedside table._

And just like that, the conversation had been over. Glancing at the watch on my wrist, I gasped at the time. I only had twenty minutes until my shift started, and I still had a few blocks to walk. I downed the last of my coffee, wincing at the burning sensation that was now settling in my stomach.

Putting the money on my booth's table, I rushed out of the café, pushing the glass door open as hard as I could; I was in a hurry and didn't want to waste any time.

As I got to the intersection that was right before my hospital, I heard a few gasps and "oh my God's," and I looked into the direction of everyone's gasps; my hand flew to my mouth. There in my line of vision were the twin towers, standing tall and proud. But there was something different from the last time I had seen this view: a plane that was awfully low was flying directly into the tower.

"No, no, no, no," I said out loud to myself; I knew what was about to happen. My fear became a reality in a matter of seconds as I watched the plane crash into the side of the building. My heart stopped as I watched in horror.

My pager beeped, and I looked down, knowing that I needed to get to the hospital now more than ever. I ran across the intersection, not caring about the traffic around me.

When I got to the hospital, everyone was in a frantic state of mind. People were running, preparing for the amount of people that were sure to come in. I ran into the locker room to drop my things off, and when I got inside, the television in the corner was on, and everyone was surrounding it.

Putting my items in my locker, I found my friend, Rosalie (whose husband also worked at the fire department), and I put my hand on her arm, letting her know I was there. She turned toward me and wrapped me up in a tight hug, tears forming in our eyes.

"I am so glad you are okay!" she said as we both turned to the television.

I looked around at the people in front of the television and watched as they dialed their cell phones, trying to reach their loved ones who might have been in that building.

And then I heard the words come onto the television that would start the beginning of my new life.

"With hundreds of injuries and possible casualties, the NYPD and surrounding fire departments have been called in to assist with this tragedy."

My breath caught in my throat as I came to the realization at what this could mean. I sat down as my head started spinning.

"Edward…" I said as my world faded to black.

Hours later, after the final plane had hit the towers and I had finally come to, I started my job. I had called Edward dozens of times on his cell phone only getting his voice mail. Rosalie was in the same boat as me and hadn't gotten Emmett to pick up either.

But there weren't enough hands to go around for the amount of people coming in, and I needed to stay here.

Thankfully, I worked alongside Rose in the Emergency Room, and even though I couldn't talk to her, just knowing she was there comforted me.

The amount of people coming in was astronomical, and I was still in shock at what had happened. The sights around me made me want to cry. People came in with burns covering them from head to toe. There was blood, broken bones, and sadly, more fatalities than all of those combined.

The newscasters were now calling it a 'terrorist attack' from what I could hear. But I wasn't really listening. When I wasn't tending to a patient, I was thinking about Edward.

I reminded myself to take deep breaths, and that I was being let off early and could go home. He was probably home waiting for me. I would go home, run into his arms, and we would make up. But a part of my heart knew that wasn't true, and I ignored the feeling in my gut as I knew he was at the towers. He always had to be the hero…

"Bella! We need you over here stat!" I heard from behind me. I handed over the sutures kit to a colleague and ran to the next room.

It was Emmett.

If Emmett was here, that had to mean that Edward was nearby right? They worked together and if one was here, the other couldn't be far behind.

_Concentrate, Bella…_

I looked around for Rosalie, hoping she wasn't anywhere near us. I began examining Emmett, who seemed to have severe burns and a broken arm. He was conscious but most of his words didn't make sense.

He looked up at me as I adjusted his IV in his hand. "Bella," he said to me, barely able to make out my name.

"You're going to be okay Emmett. Hang in there, okay? Rosalie will be here soon," I said, dressing one of his wounds.

He grabbed my hand with his good arm, stopping me from my work. "Emmett, I need to help you, okay? Once I finish this, you're going to be taken to the burn ward and I'll make sure Rose meets you there, okay?" I said, not looking into his eyes, but his grip only tightened.

I looked at him and saw the man I knew, not the man who was lying here. Not the man who had cuts and blood covering his face.

"He wanted me to tell you something," he said to me between breaths.

My body stopped doing what I was doing and tears pricked my eyes. "Who wanted to tell me what?" I asked, not wanting him to say Edward. Maybe he was hallucinating… "Emmett, you really are in no state to talk okay? Beth! Let's get him up to the burn center… I'm going to go find his wife and let her know he's okay."

I started to walk away, but he caught the sleeve of my doctor's coat. "He told me to tell you, 'times infinity.'"

That was all I needed to hear; before I knew it, my legs were carrying me down the hallway and through the door. Luckily, I ran into Rosalie right as she was about to enter to assist on an emergency surgery.

"Rose, Emmett is here. He's okay, but hurt and burned pretty badly. I told him I would get you. He's up in the burn unit," I said, not giving her much time to respond and still running out the door.

"Where are you going?" she shouted at me in the madness of the hospital.

I stopped for a minute and looked at her, hoping she would know what I was trying to say.

And then I was gone.

He didn't come home that night.

After I had entered our condo, I didn't even make it to the couch before I sank to the floor, sobbing, noticing the emptiness. After an hour, I stood up, walking into our room, taking in the sights, trying to find anything that told me he was there. Leaning against the door frame, I looked around. We had had a decent sized room, which meant there was plenty of space to be messy. It was the only place in our condo that I didn't really care about being neat. His clothes and music were everywhere, and my side held dozens of books, both medical and literature. I walked over to his side of the bed and looked down seeing his favorite pair of sweatpants—his pajamas—lying on the floor. I picked them up and stripped down to my underwear, slipping his pants on. I grabbed a t-shirt from his dresser and before slipping it on, I breathed in his scent—the one that always lingered no matter how often I washed it.

I turned on the television and sat down in front of it, my phone clutched tight in my hand. I looked at the scenes unfolding in front of my eyes and found myself searching for any signs of him. There was no way he could be gone.

I looked down at my phone and went through it, noticing all of the missed calls I had. There were five from Rosalie, seventeen from my sister Alice, and three from each of my parents. I hadn't even thought about what could be going through their heads if they had seen the news. I called my sister, Alice back and asked her to come by, telling her Edward hadn't come home. She offered to call our parents and let them know I was okay and promised she would take a taxi over to stay the night with me. There was no way I could be alone tonight.

I wanted so badly to scream, cry, or just die… but I was numb all over.

Alice came through the door using the key Edward and I had given her when we had gotten the house in case of an emergency.

She had bags in her hand and she dropped them on the table before taking me into a hug.

"Bella, I was so worried!" she said into my hair. We were only a year apart, and while she was the oldest, she was also the shortest.

I hugged her tighter as I felt tears come to my eyes.

"Have you heard from him or anyone else yet, sweetie?"

I shook my head, and then told her about what Emmett had said. "Alice, this can't be happening. He has to be okay. We got into a fight last night, and I'll just die if something happened to him without getting to apologize to him.

"Alice, I don't think I could live without him," I said as I felt the tears come out.

Time was nonexistent as I cried on my sister's shoulder.

I must have passed out from crying, because before I knew it, I was waking up, reaching for Edward. But like yesterday, he wasn't there. But this time, he might never come back.

I lay in bed, bundled in my covers and my husband's clothes. I looked over at his side of the bed and grabbed his pillow, pulling it to me and holding it close to my chest. Would he ever lay his head on this pillow again? Would I ever get to see his nightly routine of getting ready for bed? Would he ever lean over onto my side and kiss me goodnight again?

I sat up straight realizing it had been awhile since our last kiss. Yeah, we had been fighting lately, but when had been our last kiss?

I racked my brain trying to pull that memory from the mess of sadness. But then it came to me. It had been a few days ago and I had the graveyard shift the night before meaning I was home by seven o'clock that morning…

I had been so fucking tired from my shift and after I had gotten some sleep, I wanted to do something to stay busy before Edward came home from the station. So what did I decide to do? Bake.

Before I had taken the job at the hospital, I had loved to cook and bake for Edward and me. I remembered smiling at myself as his favorite cake came to mind, and I immediately started pulling the ingredients out for it along with the homemade icing I always made.

By four o'clock, I had the cake baking in the oven when Edward walked in. "Babe, I don't know what I did right, but I know that smell, and I know what cake that is," he said, walking in and setting his keys down on the counter, in the same spot he always did.

He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "You are too good to me, babe."

I smiled, turned around in his arms, and wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled me tighter, oblivious to what I had in store for him.

He started to come in for a kiss when I brought my hand back around from his neck and wiped some of the cake frosting on his nose, and then his cheeks.

I laughed as he smirked and closed his eyes. Reaching behind me he grabbed a handful of icing and rubbed it on my face.

"You ass hole!" I screamed trying to grab a handful of icing, only to have been beaten to it as another handful landed on my face.

The icing fight lasted a few minutes, and as we sat on the ground, out of breath, we couldn't help but laugh. He turned to me and I laughed at the sight of him. He was covered in chocolate icing except for his eyes. Even his hair was covered. "Uh, Bells?" he asked me after we had stopped laughing.

"What?" I questioned, trying to compose myself enough to listen to what he had to say.

"You uh, have something right here…" he said as he leaned down and pressed his mouth to mine.

His tongue slipped into my mouth as he lowered me to the ground so that he was on top of me.

"You're beautiful," he said between kisses. "And you taste _really_ good." He made sure to emphasize the word 'really.'

"Oh yeah? That's not the first time I have heard you say that." I laughed.

I reached my finger up and looped it into the dog tag necklace he always wore and slowly pulled his lips to mine using his necklace.

His hand went down to my jeans, in-between my legs and cupped me, sending a shock wave through my body.

"Edward?"

"Yeah, baby?" he said, lowering his kisses to my chest while he still used his other hand to rub me.

"I think we need a shower."

He stopped what he was doing and looked at me. "I like your thinking, Mrs. Cullen."

And he stood up, pulling me with him and threw me over his shoulder carrying me straight to the shower…

Coming back to reality, I pulled a tissue from the tissue box and wiped my eyes.

_I never thought we'd have a last kiss. _

_I never imagined we'd end like this. _

_Your name, forever the name on my lips…_

A month went by, but with how much this country, and I had changed, it felt like years.

It devastated me to learn just how many people were never found. Hundreds had died but at least some had closure. All I had was knowledge of the fact that my husband had been there that day and never come home. The chances of him surviving were slim to none. When I got the official letter from the government expressing their 'sincere gratitude' of the loss of my loved one, I took that as official closure. But there was always a part of me that felt as though it wasn't enough.

I had resigned from the hospital, unable to bear seeing the after effects of this attack and really having no energy or desire to go back to work. I would be doing the hospital a disservice by staying.

Rosalie had dropped by the condo a few times to make sure I was okay. Emmett had been released a few weeks after 9/11, and, as far as I knew, was doing well. His wounds were healing, and they were working with a plastic surgeon to fix the scars from the burns.

Everyone around me was moving on from that day, but I was still stuck there, forever frozen in time.

It felt like I couldn't breathe without him. I would sometimes sleep all day and all night only to wake up confused as to which day of the week it was.

Both my mom and dad asked me to move back in with them, and Alice offered to move in with me. I declined all three offers, knowing I would only make them miserable.

My life was a never ending rollercoaster and I was desperate to get off of it…

December 11, 2001

"Fuck my life!" I yelled, slamming the refrigerator door as I came to realize that I had nothing edible to eat. Looking around my kitchen, I sighed. It was a mess, and I was disgusted at myself for letting it get this bad. The dishes in the sink were so overwhelming that I grabbed one of my kitchen towels and placed it on top, trying to hide the mess.

As much as I didn't want to admit it, I needed to go grocery shopping. This meant I had to look at least somewhat decent.

I ran into my bedroom, threw a pair of jeans on, and topped it off with an old hooded sweatshirt…there, decent enough.

Grabbing my keys, coat, and purse, I ran out the door to face the snow and hope to God I could catch a cab.

When I got to the grocery store half an hour later, I grabbed a cart and started my shopping.

It had been so weird for the past months to only have to shop for one person. I found myself going into the store only buying for me, but when I came across Edward's favorite foods, I couldn't help myself.

I was in the bread aisle when it happened.

"How the hell does the same type of whole wheat bread have two different prices, one significantly more expensive in the other?" I muttered under my breath.

"Pretty shitty isn't it?" I heard beside me.

Jumping and dropping the bread to the floor I looked to my left to find Jasper Hale standing beside me, shopping basket in his hand.

"Oh, my God, Jasper you scared the shit out of me!" I exclaimed as I bent down to grab the bread. He seemed to have the same idea as our heads bumped. Hard.

"Ow!" we both exclaimed.

Standing up, he laughed, and I stifled a half smile, still rubbing my head.

He looked at me, and I reached forward, giving him a hug. While I had obviously taken Edward's death the hardest, Jasper wasn't too far behind me. They had grown up together and had been best friends since they were born. They had gone through everything together, and I was sure this tragedy was not something Jasper had ever expected… none of us had.

"It's great to see you Bells. How are you holding up? I tried calling you a few weeks ago."

I tucked my hair behind my ears and looked at my feet. "I know, and I'm sorry. It's just been really…"

He cut me off. "Hard? I know. I still can't believe he's gone. I've been worried about you."

I shook my head. "Jasper, I really appreciate it, but I'm fine."

"Well, while I'd called you because I wanted to make sure you were doing okay, I also had another question for you."

"Okay, shoot."

"Well, Edward was my best friend, and between you and me, we were the people in this world that knew him best. I thought it would be nice if you and I could go out and catch up?"

I wasn't expecting that. "I don't know Jasper…" I said, not quite knowing why I was saying 'no.' I'd known Jasper for as long as I'd known Edward… I mean, he was the best man at our wedding for fuck's sake.

"You don't have to say yes or no now, Bella. Think about it and get back to me okay? You have my number. And even if you aren't calling to tell me yes or no, you know you can always call me if you need to talk."

I nodded and smiled, saying goodbye and wanting to get the hell out of there.

After I had left the store I had only had three bags to take home. Seeing as it was decent out, not too cold and not snowing, I decided to walk the four blocks home.

On _that_ day, New York City changed. Since then it wasn't as vibrant and alive as it had been. People stayed inside instead of going out in fear of what could happen next. Stores and restaurants had closed down because of the loss of a family member or friend. It was as though we weren't New York City anymore… we were just _here_.

I hated the men who did this to me and my country. They had planned an attack and that's what they did. They brought us down, and we were now in a new war.

We were fighting back and all I was doing was existing in this world. I wasn't living.

Back at my condo, I put the items away in their respective places and decided to take a bath. I hit play on my answering machine as I let the water fill up the tub.

"Bella, it's Mom. Just want to make sure you were okay. Call me back, baby. Love you." I swore I got one of those at least once a day.

The next one was from Alice. "Bella, I love you, but if I don't hear from you within the next three hours, I am coming over there and throwing you an intervention. Although, I guess it won't be much of an intervention if you know about. Anyway, call me!"

I dialed her number and called her to let her know that, yes, I was still alive, and yes, she could come over tomorrow and to stop calling me.

Not even bothering to shut the door to the bathroom, I stripped down to nothing and sank into my tub.

Welcoming the warmth around me, I thought about what happened at the grocery store. I hadn't seen Jasper since the funeral we held in September for Edward. Frankly, I'd forgotten about him, sadly.

Why was I so weird with him? What was the harm in having dinner with an old friend? It almost felt as though I would be cheating on Edward if I did. At that thought, I lifted my left hand out of the water and looked at my ring finger. I had taken off the engagement ring he had proposed with, but I kept the wedding ring on, not ready to take that off. Taking it off would mean that I was no longer tied to him. And I knew that I was tied to him still in every human way possible.

Looking at the phone on the ground next to the tub, I decided _what the hell?_

His phone rang twice before he picked up.

"Hello?"

"Jasper, hey, it's Bella."

"Oh hey, Bella! Long time no talk. Is everything okay?" he asked in an almost predictive manner.

"Um, yeah everything's fine. I was just calling back to take you up on your dinner offer. When are you available?"

We set the time for the following Monday, a week from today. He worked two jobs, a teacher in the day and a bartender at night, and this was the only time he had available.

Hanging up, I felt as though a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I mean, it wasn't a date or anything, but it couldn't hurt to meet up with an old friend.

The week flew by, and before I knew it, Monday smacked me right in the face.

Alice was supposed to stop by before I went out to help me pick my outfit, but she was running way past late, and I couldn't wait any longer. I hopped in the shower, knowing that she had a key and could get in any time she wanted. After I got out of the shower, I meticulously picked out my outfit for the night, knowing I didn't go out often and that I should make it count. I felt like a whole new person, and it scared me but also exhilarated me.

I slipped on a pair of black skinny jeans and a nice top. I fished through my closet in hopes to find my favorite pair of shoes. They weren't too high and they definitely weren't too low. Setting them out, I went into the bathroom to blow-dry my hair and put some makeup on. Just a little.

Once I was finished, and my wavy hair had been dried, I walked into my room to put my clothes on, noticing that I didn't have to be at the restaurant for another hour…I was always early.

I heard the door open and close in the foyer. "Wow, Alice, could you be any later?" I shouted, buttoning and zipping up my skinny jeans. I had lost a lot of weight in the past few months and I had to go on a major shopping trip the day before, or else I would be wearing Edward's sweats to a nice restaurant. Even for someone like me, that was unacceptable.

"I couldn't wait for you, so I just picked something out… hopefully you approve." I shouted to Alice.

Taking one last look in the mirror in my bathroom, I shut out the light, and then my bedroom's light as well, closing the door behind me. I walked out into the hall and started to turn the corner. "You know, I'm surprised you weren't here hours ago! You never miss an opportunity to…"

But as I rounded the corner and turned the light on to the living room, I was shocked at the darkness and that she hadn't bothered making herself at home. That was what she was best at.

But when the light illuminated the room and eventually showed its contents, I realized something.

Alice wasn't here.

My breath escaped me, and I felt as though I needed to hold onto something for support. This wasn't real; it could not be happening. As much as I had hoped and dreamt for this moment to happen, I knew I was impossible…

"Bella…" he said in the way he knew I loved.

I looked at him, taking him in.

Mixed emotions ran through my body and eventually I grabbed the wall for support in fear I would fall.

"Baby, it's me. I'm okay."

"Oh, my God," I said and the tears started again, uncontrollable. My fingers slipped from the way and I felt myself start to fall. But before I could hit the hard wooden floors, I felt him wrap his arms around me, pulling me upright.

"Bella, look at me," he said, lifting my chin up so that our eyes could meet.

His familiar green eyes glowed back at me. I lifted my hand away from his arms, which I had been holding onto. I lifted my fingers, using them to feel his cheeks. It was flesh, nothing ghostlike as I was expecting.

I traced my finger along his jaw line, using memorization to verify this was him. It was definitely Edward, but with all the burns, you would never know unless you knew him inside and out. I traced my fingers to his lips. He closed his eyes as my fingers did the roaming. My hands found his hair and I ran my fingers through, getting chills from the contact I had been craving for so long.

"It is you," I said, and he pulled me tight to him and I felt myself melt against him. Limb to limb, we were touching, and I sobbed into his shoulder. I ran my hands up and down his back, wanting to be able to touch every inch of him.

"I missed you so much, Bella. I had no way of getting to you until now. I hope you know that I love you so much."

I pulled my head off his shoulder, letting my eyes settle on his once again. "But how?" I asked, baffled by how he had been declared dead, and yet, he was standing in front of me now, in our living room.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Bella, I want to tell you everything. From the moment I walked out our door, to the moment I came back to you. But I need something first. I need to kiss you."

A tear slipped from my eye as I felt his hands cup both sides of my face. Slowly, he brought my mouth to his. I breathed in quickly from my nose, welcoming the contact and remembering just how much I missed him.

"Edward, I love you so much. Don't ever leave me again, please?" I said pulling him back to me into an embrace.

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere." He kissed me again as I felt a tear roll down his cheek.

We stood there for what seemed like hours holding each other, getting to know each other's touch yet again.

I felt him take my hand and he led me to our couch. "Are… are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" I asked as we sat down.

He wiped away my tears and kissed my hand. "I'm okay now, but I was pretty bad in the beginning."

I listened to his story as carefully as I could, knowing that neither of us would want to hear it again. He explained that after he had left our house that morning, he knew something was off. Not just from our fight… but there was something in the air. When he got to the station, he and Emmett made breakfast and talked about random things when all of a sudden the alarms went off.

At that point, they had no idea what they were getting into. They just assumed it was another job and that they would all be back in a few hours at most. As they got closer, they were clued in on what was going on. He said they hadn't brought anything with them, no cell phones, wallets, nothing. They just had their uniforms.

He explained that when he had got there he didn't even know where to start. There were numerous places in the building that were on fire. There were hundreds of people trapped, and Edward's team knew that as soon as they walked into the building that they were in just as much danger as the people who were there.

He had rescued a few people and was going to head back to the station to get more supplies when the second plane attacked. He explained that didn't remember much after that other than finding himself beneath a mound of rubble, Emmett next to him.

"He seemed a lot worse off than I was and when the paramedics came, I told them to take him instead."

My hand tightened around his and my thumb rubbed his skin, now rough from his scars and burns.

Edward explained that he had told Emmett 'times infinity' so that I would know he was still alive.

After Emmett left, he blacked out.

The days after the attack were a blur to him. He was stuck somewhere that no one really knew about and he couldn't make his way out. "I don't know how many days I was there, stuck underneath the rubble. But eventually someone came and got me. Baby, I didn't even know my own name at that point. I guess I was in and out of consciousness and extremely dehydrated.

"They didn't take me to the usual hospital where I'm sure people would know my name. The hospital I was at was an hour away. With no ID on me or anyone around me knowing who I was, I was basically a John Doe."

He showed me his most prominent scars, and I tried not to grimace at them, knowing it must have been horrible for him. He had broken almost all of his ribs, his right leg and his left foot. "You would have laughed at the sight of me, Bells."

I shook my head and then smiled at the sound of him saying my name.

When he was released he said he knew where he had to be. He said he had just come to completely a few days ago. By that time, his breaks were healed and he was officially discharged.

"I almost ran out of that place as soon as I signed off on the papers. I grabbed the first cab that picked me up and I got here. I needed you so much, babe. You have no idea. When I was awake at the site, all I could see was you. And all I could think about was how much I wanted to see you and how stupid our last fight was."

I took his face and kissed him, his nose, his cheeks and his lips. "You're here now, and none of that matters anymore. You're alive and sitting in front of me, kissing your wife. That is all that matters. I wasn't living, Edward. I was just walking around here like a zombie. I think part of me couldn't move on because I knew you were still alive somehow. Somehow I knew you would come back to me."

He moved his head an inch away from my face. "Always."

He kissed me again, and I smiled against his lips, knowing this was real.

"Does your family know?" I asked as we sat on the couch, our fingers entwined and my head on his shoulder.

"No, I needed to tell you and see you first. I was going to call them and then Jasper after I had seen you."

"Oh, my God! Jasper!" I exclaimed sitting up.

Edward looked at me and moved my hair away from my face. He looked at my clothes and frowned. "Were you going somewhere tonight?"

I shook my head. "Nowhere important. Jasper just wanted to meet up and talk, catch up on things."

He pulled away slightly, "What, like on a date?"

"Oh, my God, no! Edward, I haven't been able to think about anything or anyone but you, especially not another _guy_."

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I guess that was a stupid question. Hey, why don't you go call Alice and your parents and change into something more comfortable. I'm going to give my parents and Jasper a call."

"I don't want to leave you… and I know that sounds needy and clingy," I said to him as we stood up.

"Isabella Cullen." Chills went down my spine as he said our last name. "I promise I am not going anywhere."

I kissed him and went into our room.

Sitting on my side of the bed with my phone next to me, I let myself take in what had just happened. I didn't want to cry but I was just so overwhelmed with the fact that someone I had loved had been taken away from me, and now he was back… never really gone at all.

Alice almost made me go deaf by screaming into the phone when I told her the news. I told her to give us a few days before she dropped by… we needed time to heal. My parents were equally excited and we set up a date to all get together. They were even going to fly in from Forks to be with us.

After my last phone call was made, Edward walked into our room and looked around.

"Is it weird to be back here?" I asked, wondering what he was thinking.

He nodded and smiled as he walked over to his dresser. Running a hand on top of the wood he turned to me and said, "You didn't change anything?"

"Well, as long as you don't count me taking your clothes to wear _change,_ then no. I couldn't. I felt like I was doing something wrong if I would have moved your things. You weren't gone Edward, you never were," I said, crossing my legs as I sat in the middle of our bed.

"I think I'm going to go take a shower," he said, walking to the bathroom door.

I heard the shower turn on and I took that moment to spruce myself up. I jumped off the bed and scrambled to my dresser in search of something that I would have worn when he was here three months ago.

I threw on a pair of silk shorts and a cami and looked in my mirror, instantly regretting my choice. Tossing it off, I searched through my dresser again. After three more outfits I decided to just go with something simple: My boxer pajama shorts and a grey three-quarter length NYC shirt.

Settling myself in bed as naturally as possible, whatever that meant, I waited for him to get out of the shower.

Instead of hearing the door open, I heard him call my name, "Bella? Can you come to the door?"

Come to the door? "Yeah, okay… I'm here," I said as I reached the door.

"Can you hand me a t-shirt and some bottoms to sleep in?"

_Why wasn't he getting them himself? He wasn't shy was he? He never had been before…_

After a few minutes, he came out and I felt like it was the first day I had seen him. Butterflies flew roughly around my stomach and my hands nervously flew to my hair wanting anything to keep my hands busy.

With a t-shirt on, I finally saw more of him. When he had come home he had been wearing a long sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans. All I saw were his hands and face. But now, seeing his arms, my heart hurt for him. The scars were horrific, but I didn't care. It was Edward, my beautiful Edward.

He got to the side of the bed and looked at me. "This is weird," he said not even touching the fabric.

"We don't have to go to sleep now, Edward. Or, if you want, we can sleep elsewhere if this is too weird…" I said hoping he would turn the latter down.

He smiled. "Bella, I have waited three months to sleep next to you." He pulled the covers away. "Touch you." He started to crawl into bed. "Kiss you." His index finger found the bottom of my chin and pulled my mouth to his.

He kissed me until I was lying on my back, my fingers on his back desperate to touch his skin. Leaning on his arms, he used one of his hands to move the hair away from my face.

"I just can't believe it's you," I said, feeling the tears start to form in my eyes.

"Shhh, baby, it _is_ me," he said, lying down on his side. I propped my head up with my hand and looked at him, our bodies parallel to each other. "I was wondering if we could just get to know each other tonight. Nothing more, nothing less. I hope you're not mad."

I kissed him, reassuring him that I was far from mad.

We turned the lights out and turned back to each other, only illuminated by the moonlight.

"Can I touch you?"

"Of course, Bella. I'm yours."

It was surreal as I trailed my hands along my husband's skin. I wanted to touch and see every scar of his. Not because I was interested in what they looked like, but because I wanted to know every single part of him again and the scars were a part of who he was now.

I wanted to feel him, every inch of him against me.

I sat up more and brought my hand to the bottom of his shirt, never letting my eyes stray away from his. I don't know what I was looking for, but when he said, "I love you," I knew I had permission to continue.

Lifting the shirt off of him was like unwrapping something you had been waiting on for far too long. I didn't care what he looked like. I didn't care about the scars…all I cared about was that I was touching him. He was here.

"I'm sorry I have to look this way now, baby," he said to me as I looked down at him at his chest.

I smiled and leaned down to the bottom of his stomach and kissed my way up to his mouth. Just before I kissed him, I whispered, "You _are_ beautiful, Edward."

I didn't want to push him that night, and he seemed to feel the same way. We took turns touching, kissing and relearning each other, sometimes not even opening our eyes…just letting our fingers doing the memorizing.

We had both lost each other that day and I was doing anything and everything to get him back.

Hours later, we fell asleep in each other's arms… something I had been dreaming about for months.

The next few days went by in a blur. It was mostly just trying to get acclimated to each other again. I was thankful we hadn't gone back into our old routines, but instead made new ones. We took care of what we needed in order for him to not be declared deceased anymore. We received apology after apology from the government for what they'd put us through. We both knew that wasn't what mattered and that it wasn't really their fault. How could they have known?

My parents flew in that following Friday and we had a small get together at our condo, only inviting our closest family and friends. His parents had been here to see him before then, but this was the first time we had all been under one roof.

After dinner had been served and the dishes had been washed, Alice pulled me into our bedroom.

"So have you two fully recovered from everything?" she asked me, sitting down on the edge of our unmade bed.

I looked at her and scrunched my forehead, "Well, I mean, I guess so. Although there is so much to recover from. I guess at this point, we're as good as we're going to get."

She nodded. "Well, that's only natural. You haven't seen each other in three months… and you went those months thinking he was gone. I cannot imagine what you are going through."

I nodded and she continued, "So, how was the welcome home sex?"

My eyes widened. "Alice! You can't ask that!"

Laughing, she said, "Well, why not? I _am_ your sister for God's sake… I was just curious."

"Yeah I know but still…"

"Well?" she asked, knowing I would eventually crack and answer her.

I looked over at her and admitted something that I myself was getting anxious over. "No."

"What? Why?" she asked, standing up and walking over to me.

I shrugged. "Well, I don't want to push any buttons. I mean, he hasn't even been home a week and after all he's been through…"

"Yeah, after all he's gone through you'd think he would have wanted to."

I glared at her. "Don't freak me out more than I have to be."

She pulled me into a hug. "I'm sorry, sis. Have you talked to him about it yet?"

Shaking my head, I walked over to the mirror to make sure my makeup was still okay.

I listened to her go on and on about how important it was to talk to him before things got any worse. Any worse? I didn't know they were that bad. We were just trying to heal each other. But how long did the healing process go on?

When she was done playing 'Doctor Alice,' we rejoined our families in the living room.

An hour later, everyone started clearing out. From what I could tell, Alice and Jasper had gotten along really well, and they had both walked out with each other's phone numbers.

"I think they're perfect for each other. I don't know why I never thought about that before!" I said as I was putting away all of the uneaten food.

Edward laughed and came behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "_We_ are perfect for each other." And he kissed the back of my neck.

I was about to turn around, thinking that this was an ironic turn around, but his arms slipped away quickly as he grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and walked over to the couch.

I sighed and finished up what I was doing then walked to the bedroom to change for bed.

Shocked to see that Edward was still on the couch watching some news program, I walked over to him and kissed his cheek. "I'm going to bed, babe. Love you."

"Love you, too. I'll be in soon." And his gaze returned to the television.

Feeling sad and rejected, I walked back into our bedroom and crawled into our bed, alone.

He walked in an hour later, not knowing I was still awake. It felt like Alice had jinxed us. Everything had been fine, or at least that was how it felt, and now that she said that… it felt like we were falling apart.

I felt him kiss my shoulder and I wanted so badly to smile but I kept still. There was movement on the other side of the bed as I felt him get comfortable. Not too long after, I heard his breathing get softer; a signal that he was falling asleep.

I turned around slowly so that I was facing him. He was lying on his back with his head turned towards me. I smiled at the small gesture, even if it was on accident.

Moving a piece of hair off his forehead, I felt so helpless. I wanted my husband so badly, but he wasn't reachable. It was one of the worst feelings: to know your loved one was in front of you, but they were almost untouchable.

Lying on my back, mimicking Edward, I felt my own sleep start to consume me. I welcomed it, wanting to get this day and night over with.

But sleep was nothing peaceful. My dreams were haunted by the images my imagination had conjured up after hearing Edward's stories. I could see him lying there in the rubble, hurt, bleeding, and alone… no one there to see him. It was as though he was lying mere inches away from me, but every time I reached out to help him, he got further away. He screamed my name asking me to help him, his voice a heart wrenching scream as I reached out in front of me, "Edward!" But then he was gone.

"EDWARD!" I screamed, hoping he would hear me and I would find him again. I kept screaming until I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Bella, wake up."

I opened my eyes and Edward came into focus. "Oh, thank God," I said, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, pulling him to me. He wrapped his arms around me, underneath my body, and hugged me tightly.

"Edward…"

He kissed away my tears and then looked into my eyes. "Make love to me, Mrs. Cullen."

I didn't know where this was coming from, but I wasn't about to try and figure it out.

He moved so he was hovering over me, his legs between mine. I reached up, putting my arms underneath his shirt feeling his skin. I slowly pulled his shirt up and tossed it on the floor beside the bed.

His hands were everywhere: in my hair, along my sides and then finally up my shirt. Somewhere his hands hadn't been in months.

"I don't want to hold back tonight, Bella. I want to show you how much I've missed you… how much I _want _you… how much I love you… baby, I want to make you feel good."

I moaned at his words instantly wanting more. "I want to feel you, skin to skin… nothing between us," I said biting his lip in between kisses.

He ran his hand up and down my back as I kissed his chest, breathing in his scent. I needed to know he was really here… his scent was intoxicating.

My shirt was removed within seconds and my toes curled as I felt Edward's lips and hot breath trail down my neck. His lips stopped between my breasts and I arched my back knowing my bra needed to come off.

In seconds, his long fingers had unclasped my bra and threw it behind us. My pajama shorts were still on, but I wasn't thinking about myself. I wanted Edward… all of Edward. I pushed him so that he was lying on his back and I straddled him. I tugged at his bottoms until they were low enough that he could kick them off. His boxers came off almost immediately after.

My mind was spinning with things I wanted to do to his body… I didn't even know where to start.

I pressed myself to him, wanting desperately to feel every inch of him on me, but I still had my shorts on.

As though he had been reading my mind, he flipped us over so that he was, again, on top of me. His long fingers slithered down to the waistband of my shorts and he ran them along my skin, sending chills all through my body. I lifted my hips to meet his, expressing to him how badly I wanted him. He pulled my shorts off and lay skin to skin with me. I could feel his hardness pressing into my stomach, and the wetness that was now pooling on my stomach. I brought my hands to his back as he continued to plant hot kisses on my neck and then around my left nipple. I moaned in ecstasy at the contact. Hot to cold. I bucked my hips again and ran my hands down his back making sure to rub them down his ass. He was killing me with his kisses and teasing me with the fact that his dick was hard and lying on my stomach, untouched. I reached my hand in between our bodies and grabbed the tip of it, gripping it with my hand and slowly going up and down.

He brought his mouth to mine and moaned into my mouth as a spark of electricity ran through my body, making my clit throb.

I had never before, in my entire twenty-four years of life, felt this amount of desire and pure sexual need from another human being.

"Fuck, Bella, that feels amazing," Edward said into my mouth as my hand started pumping faster.

I kissed him with fire and I felt his hand reach down to replace mine. He took his dick in his hand and started rubbing the tip against my clit. I was so close to cumming, and before I knew it, I was trembling with vibrations shaking my body.

"Edward, I need you… now," I said as I bit down in the crevice of his neck and shoulder.

Using his finger, he brought my head up so that we were face to face. With our eyes locked on each other, he pushed into me, making my back arch and a moan escape my mouth.

His mouth crashed down onto mine as he feverishly kissed me, thrusting in and out of my sex.

I knew neither of us would last long, and I wanted to try something. With him still deep inside of me, I flipped us over until I was on top of him. Watching my husband's expression as I moved up and down on him was enough to get me off any day. His mouth was open and moans escaped it every so often. His eyes would close as he would thrust with me, our hips meeting with fire, his dick filling me up completely.

"Baby, I'm going to cum," he said as he lifted himself up so we were eye to eye. We moved together; our eyes both opened at the same time, and we came simultaneously. I felt myself crashing around him.

We sat there, holding each other, my head on his shoulder and sheer veil of sweat covering both our bodies.

After a few staggered kisses while we regained our breathing, he lowered me down as his mouth touched mine in a post coital kiss.

We lay there, still connected, our skin touching as we just looked at each other.

"That was amazing," Edward said, kissing my nose and pulling the covers up over us as we started to cool down.

I wrapped the sheet around me, pulling it close. He wrapped his arm around me, and I settled my head on the top of his shoulder. It was a perfect fit.

"Bella?"

"Mmm?" I asked moving my face so it was touching the crook of his neck. His scent was something I would never get tired of.

"I love you," he whispered into my ear, even though we were the only ones in our room.

I kissed his neck. "I love you too."

There was a slight pause, and then he said, "Times infinity."

I smiled because I knew this was our new beginning. It was a fresh start to a life we had started and a life that had almost been taken away from us. His name would forever be the name on my lips. He was mine, and I was his. Forever.

"Plus two," I said as I kissed his lips.

He pulled me on top of him and we made love all over again.


End file.
